Woman of the Sun: My dad and I: My dad doesn’t believe house chores are reserved for specific gender –Fummi Oloyede

Olufunmilayo Esther Oloyede is an indigene of Abeokuta in Ogun State. A multi-talented artiste, she is the convener of Passion and Praise, an organisation known for its annual musical concerts in Nigeria. 
Going down memory lane, Oloyede recalls some of the lessons she learnt from her father, which helped her keep on track in spite of life’s numerous challenges.
Excerpts:
 Can you tell us the kind of relationship you have with your dad?
I am very close to my father, more than everybody in my family. Let me start from when I was a child. I grew up with my grandparents and stayed with them until I started primary school. Then, I joined my parents in 1980.  My father is still playing a major role in my life. I can’t forget him in my life. I would say my closeness to him stems from my position in the family. I am the first child of six children.
What do you remember about your early days with him?
I remember most of the values he thought me. Again, when I was growing up, people would always refer to me as a replica of my dad, both in his character and many other traits. My father was strict. There is this adage in Yoruba language, which says one parent gives birth to a child but it takes many parents to train the child. That is my father’s favourite proverb. He does not believe that it is his job alone to train a child. He would discipline me more when I come home, for any wrong doing outside. My dad is strict but due to old age now, he has relented much from some of those his hard stance. Now, he tends to trust more in his children’s sense of judgment.  He also believes that one should be a man of his word. Most of all his values we imbibed from him were not handed down to us by formal lecturing.  They were things we saw in his actions and learnt them while we were growing up.
Can you elaborate on such values?
My father worked with Shell Corporation for almost three decades, in Marina, Lagos. And all through this long period, he did not change. He kept on to his values. He is a man whose yes is yes. He tells you that he will be in Agege by 1pm and proceed to Oshodi, afterwards; he would keep to it. He lacked patience for hanky panky games. One thing about him was that he never failed to tell us the details of his day. And by that, we were able to learn to be truthful and straight forward from him. He does not accommodate people who tell lies. He always encouraged us to tell him the truth, no matter how hard it may sound. To me then, I saw him as a difficult man but now I truly appreciate that his harsh stance was to make me a better person in life.
What are other things you admire about him?
My dad is a very detailed man and prudent. If he spends a dime, he records it. Any money that flows into his hand is recorded. He is also a voracious reader.  My dad can sit on the table, reading for hours. When he was working in Shell Corporation, as the Head of Communication Department, he would come home with copies of the Telefax and transcribe them into words. Transcription is so strenuous that it only takes someone with patience and dedication to do. I learnt to read from him.
The other thing, which I admire about him is that he is not a stereotype. He does not believe that there are chores specifically made for a certain gender. He gave us all equal opportunity in every house chore and utility jobs. He made me fix the electrical jobs by myself. Most of the things that I can do, today were from my dad. I know how to fix pipes, drive nail in a wood, repair electric damage and so on. Honestly, I thought he drove us hard. There was even a time I told him that he was too wicked. I could say that because now, we have a very close relationship.
What pranks did you play as a child?
I played a lot! I remember back then that we were very afraid of him that we would run to our rooms and pretended as if we were reading when he came home, after watching television for the whole day. Another prank we played on him was on clothes.  He took our education very serious. The only two things he cared about were our feeding and studies. He never saw other things as being necessary. So, while submitting my list for the school year, I would have added clothes and other things to it. Of course, I would have inflated the price. By that, if he decided to slash the list, there would still be some change left for me to get the clothes.
Do you think that you will find someone like your dad for marriage?
To hope that I would find a guy like my dad to marry is not a bad idea but it will be unfair. Everybody is not the same. I think I have had enough of my dad. I would like to have another person, not another person in my dad’s shadow.
What do you think will happen to your relationship with your dad when you marry?
I don’t know yet. First, let me get married. But I guess we will still be close.